“When one door closes another door opens” ~Alexander Graham Bell We’ve all heard this quote when being pushed into an uncertainty or a big change in our lives. I discovered that they leave out a very integral part of this quote. There are actually two quotes: “When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” ~Alexander Graham Bell and “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” ~Helen Keller Brilliant analogy!! There we are standing in the hallway of infinite possibility and we are so damn uncomfortable that we can’t even begin to see the shiny new awesome open door because we are knee deep in our thoughts about the old door! I would even go a step further and say… if you do some work in the hallway you can attract the door that leads you to your dreams!!!
I have spent lots of time in such hallways but it was when my husband was out of work for 9 months that I finally made full use of the hallway. This time, I was a trained coach so I was able to recognize this crazy uncomfortable anxiety as opportunity. Don’t get me wrong…it sucked! I put on a happy face for the kids and when I felt the pressure building I would retreat to my closet and ugly snotty all out cry to exhaustion. Don’t leave out the crying part, it’s important. Feel free to replace it with whatever feels good to you, when my sister died I ran it off. But then what??
1. Take care of your most basic needs. Breathe, eat healthy, connect spiritually, make sure you are getting at least 6 but hopefully 8-9 hours of sleep. Put fun things on your calendar. We went to see every movie that was nominated for an oscar that year and walked/ran almost every day.
2. Notice your thoughts around the anxiety and write them down in a journal. All the “what ifs…” “I can’ts…”(or “we can’ts…”) “I have to…” “shoulda, coulda, wouldas..” Don’t hold back and dig deep with no judgement. Write down every thought that gives you anxiety and/or makes you want to retreat to your closet and whale until your tears are no more. If a thought feels bad to you, it’s not true and it’s not serving you…it’s that simple. Start with which thought stands the most. Then ask yourself…”Is this real?” “How is it serving me?” “How would it feel to let it go?” “Could it be replaced with an opposite or positive thought that feels like…love…possibility?” If it’s something you cannot change ask “why is this so bad?” and “what can I learn from this?” You should start to feel thoughts that feel better and truer nudge out your anxiety thoughts. If you are still feeling stuck a great resource and my inspiration is Byron Katie’s website: The Work [](http://www.thework.com/index.php) Guiding my clients through thought work is one of my most useful tools. It can be very beneficial to have a compassionate witness to help guide you. I would be honored to coach you through this process.
3. If you are feeling the anxiety lessen, you are now ready to open yourself up to infinite possibilities. More than likely, limiting thoughts will pop back up so just notice them without judgement, connect to gratitude, and repeat step 2. This is your chance to open yourself up to what you want and remember all that you have ever dreamed of…look for what pulls you. Write it down like it’s already happening or happened, make posters using pictures in magazines of things you are drawn towards. Read books and watch movies you are drawn to. Meditate or journal on what you want and what it will look like in 1, 3, or 5 years. Don’t be attached to any specific outcome…stay general. I was getting pulled to travel the East coast and to deepen my skills as a coach. My husband was getting a pull to use his talents to grow and mentor a company in an executive position.
4. Do things that move you toward your desires. Repeat steps 1-3 as needed. Meditate.
This is not an easy process and I remember feeling like I was walking on a balance beam trying to let go of thoughts, staying grateful, and all while connecting to what we wanted our lives to look like once we stepped through our new door. Two years later, we have been living on the East coast in Maryland for almost a year. We have traveled to Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, Virginia, Pennsylvania, New York City 4x, and, D.C. many times. Working through this experience pushed me to a deeper spiritual connection which continuously guides me as a coach. We are nothing but grateful for that door slamming shut, our experience and growth in the hallway, and where we are now!!!
The Clear Path Connection 