Trust your kids until they give you a reason not to… then talk to them about how important trust is in a loving relationship and how important it is that you can always know that they are being honest and forthcoming with you. Explain that It helps you keep them safe and it helps keep communication open and honest. Then trust them again and again and again…it is their birthright.
When I find my kids being dishonest I initially feel hurt and betrayed. I think of all kinds of ways to punish them or make their life miserable. Then I pull back and take what I call the hawks view. I look at the situation in it’s entirety. I try to understand why they may have been dishonest, I look at how age appropriate the situation is…I don’t know about you but I wasn’t always totally honest with my mom but it was nothing against her, I was just trying to get what I wanted without thinking it through. Most importantly I look at how things will play out if I respond with my hurt ego self and how things will play out if I respond with my loving parent self. No suprise, it always works out better with my loving parent scenario.
Love and trust go hand and hand in any relationship, so you’re not only teaching them to respect you and your mutual relationship but teaching them how important it is to expect others to be honest and trustworthy in their peer relationships. Trust Rinse and Repeat…
The Clear Path Connection 